SPICER IS OUT! SCARAMUCCI IS IN! KELLY IS IN! SCARMUCCI IS OUT! W...H....A....T - T...H...E - F....U....C....K?
POTTY MOUTH COMMUNICATIONS WHITE HOUSE COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR IS FIRED!
DATELINE: WASHINGTON, D.C.
THE TRUMPLAND WHITE HOUSE
July 31, 2017
In a surprise, yet cunningly clever strategic move, newly installed General John Kelly, Trump's brand new as a shiny penny Chief of Staff, fired the ten-day-in-office White House Director of Communications, Anthony Fuckhead Scaramucci. Or was it Trump? We don't know. As is typical of the smoothly running Trump Administration's highly intricate strategic movements, the lying left wing fake news media was caught flat footed with no warning of this sudden strategically significant development. (President Trump does not advertise what he might do in the future and has no interest in or knowledge of history.) As El Primo Trump has often voiced his suspicion of the press and given his view that the press is simply a dumb, poured lead doorstop of an impediment to his goal of Making America Great Again in his personal image, this sudden White House shake-up is very much in line with Trump's campaign promise to "Shake Up Washington" and "Drain the Washington Swamp." We did not appreciate Trump's expert draining qualities given that he would begin with his own office/residence, The Trumpland White House. Apparently, recently installed Communications Director, Anthony Potty Mouth Scaramucci, had over flowed the White House sewage system and thus had to be pumped out of his office by General Kelly's team of Rotor Rooter Marine Specialists who are expertly trained in draining swaps and have had years of practice in Washington D.C. and the D.C. suburbs as well as, clandestinely, in the swamps of Southeast Asia,
Scaramucci's short, yet pungent, reign in the White House was punctuated with the surprise announcement by his wife that she was filing for divorce since, as her statement revealed, Tony's unbridled love for Donald Trump and his unbridled passion as Chief White House Trump Ass-Licker was finally and at long last just too much to bear. "It just smelled to high heaven," she reportedly said of hubby's potty mouth. Upon Tony's departure, the White House, issued this statement:
“Mr. Scaramucci felt it was best to give Chief of Staff John Kelly a clean slate and the ability to build his own team,” a statement from the White House press secretary said Monday. “We wish him all the best.”
In response to CNN effete fake reporter, Jake Neusome, who asked a question about the continuing confusions and chaos in the White House, Sarah Huckaster Sanders stated:
"The President is in full, total and absolute control of the White House organization, the White House staff, and who's in and who's out and every word that comes out of the mouths of every White House employee, Anthony Scaramucci excepted. What you lying press types don't understand, is that this is how the President operates. This is his unique governing style. And his supporters love him for it and that, lying media stooge Neusome, is the President's bottom line. So fuck you and all your commie homies in the press."
White House Press Pool reporters were shocked at Sanders' reply especially CNN's Jake Neusome who had always maintained excellent relationships with Trump and his staffers since he was forcefully removed from a Trump Press Conference during the Presidential campaign but then kneeled before Trump, kissed the
Following today's Press Conference, Neusome seemed to have cooled a tad towards President Trump. "I don't hold grudges," said Neusome. "I only do my job and my job right now is to keep investigating this giant asshole of a President until I uncover something that causes him to be fired from his current job." Many of the liberal, biased, effete, left-leaning reporters in the room cheered.
Have A Good Day Folks!