We all know that Donald Trump was only joking when he implied that the Second Amendment Folks could take out Hillary if they wanted to.  And when he encouraged Russia to hack Hillary Clinton’s emails so that her wrinkled Granny titties nefarious Clinton Foundation activities would be exposed for the world to see,  we knew he wasn't serious.  But Hillary is taking it from all sides of late, including from Wikileaks transparency uber patriot, Julian Assange, who seems to have a massive hard on "thing" for Hillary.  Of course, we all know that Julian's long-standing beef with Hillary Clinton stems from the time she refused to have anal sex with him she threatened to have him arrested, right? 

While I’m totally 100% spit on my mother’s grave sure not yet convinced that Putin is directly behind the e-mail hack and dump of the Democratic National Committee (whose offices, by the way are just a few blocks away from my home), I’m noticing that The Donald and his enablers staffers do seem to have some connections with Putin and Russia.  Now, just because The Donald put on some beauty contest in Moscow,  (Miss Universe?  Miss World?  MissTitty-Bang-Bang?  Miss White Trash Slut?) do I think that he and Putin engaged in man sex with each other?  No, of course not.  (But I’ll keep an open mind pending further details.) But let’s remember here that at the Miss Universe contest, what happens backstage stays backstage.  Just sayin.’

But it does seem to me that the two men have more than a few similar likes and dislikes. For example, Donald Trump doesn’t appreciate it when the press mocks him or points out that he’s lied for 6,000th time since the Presidential campaign began.  What does he do?  Well, he bans reporters from those news outlets (The Washington Post) from attending his rallies and won’t grace ABC, NBC, CNN with his presence.  But if you want to know how Trump is going to operate as President, just look at how Putin handles press relations.  Now Putin also has had difficulties with the Russian press – you know, unearthing massive corruption in the government, exposing the sudden, unexplained wealth among his circle of hunting buddies, the exposure of election fraud and similar stories the press tends to come up with when its doing its job.  Like Trump, Putin can only take so much of the media’s sniveling complaints and pesky exposures before action is called for.   But unlike Trump, who’s not yet President, Putin retaliates by shutting down media outlets he’s displeased with, making sure that those much too nosy reporters meet their maker in some dark, downtown Moscow alley or climbing the stairs to their apartments.  This latter solution seems to be a popular for wayward female reporters.  For the pesky male reporters, poison seems to be the preferred method of silencing them.  Forever.

You’ve probably heard that The Donald doesn’t like it when protestors interrupt his “speeches” and disrupt his friendly rallies with shouts of “LIAR” and “THIEF” and “ORANGE HEADED BABOON” and other such Free Speechies that your regular sane American hurls at him.  And, of course, he threatens bodily harm or in the case of his political rivals, assassination.  (“It’s a joke!  Jeeez that God-Damned Liberal Media. Can’t even take a joke.”)  Well, if you wonder why it is that Don Trump and Vlad Putin get along so beautifully, Vlad has the perfect solution for all those pesky protestors: Jail Them!  And VOILA! No more anti-Putin protestors blocking traffic in Moscow’s Red Square.  It’s true that, right now, The Donald can’t use this solution since he’s not President yet.  But – and here I’m quoting – “When I’m President, everyone is going to respect me or their gonna wind up in prison.  Or worse.”  See?  The two really are cut from the same cloth it’s just that one really does have the power to make his dreams come true while the other is just dreaming. 

Then there’s the In/Out “he’s not in Ukraine” and later “I didn’t mean he wasn’t in Ukraine” (“he” meaning President Putin) proclamations of The Donald apropos to his current “knowledge” and future “handling” of international affairs and man-to-man exchanges of handjobs, sucking, fucking and bodily fluids “diplomatic incursions.”   Both men appear to have nearly identical small penises views of how to handle international relations that run along the lines of "don't fuck with me or my country or I'll fuck you up the ass invade your sorry ass, tiny nation and kill all your citizens.  But why is it that Trump uses the In/Out (In and Out) when talking about Putin's foreign insertions?  Is it some memory of backstage at the Miss Universe contest?  Just sayin'

When the Soviet Union collapsed in the 1990’s Russians felt humiliated.  After all, there were two great Cold War powers, the United States and the Soviet Union and suddenly one was no longer.  Putin’s long KGB experience served to eliminate all his rivals   speed his rise to power by allowing him to thread the strands of intimidation, blackmail, murder  government experience, personal relationships and keen insight together into an unstoppable force on the Russian scene.  His popularity among the Russian people was buttressed by plentiful media exposure while horseback riding, hunting and swimming all shirtless, thus exposing his manly chest and trim body to the world.  Trump, I'm sure, had multiple orgasms was attracted to the sight of naked Vlad as were so many men and women around the world. 

Now I’m not implying that Donald Trump is a raging homo fudge packer attracted to Putin in a sexual way, but here’s what Trump said after he returned from the Miss Universe contest in Moscow:

“The Russian market is attracted to me,” the article quotes Trump as saying — along with his boast that “almost all the oligarchs” had attended the Moscow Miss Universe event.

So I’m wondering what “Russian market” he’s referring to.  As far as I know, “the Russian Market” begins and ends with Vladimir Putin so putting two and two together you get at the very least an American/Russian bromance if not actual evidence that the two of them engaged in mutual handjobs, sucking, fucking and exchange of bodily fluids warm exchanges of words, manly hugs and lip-locks backstage at the Miss Universe pageant.  And is the reference to "all the oligarchs" code for "oligarch orgy?" I mean, could be, right?  

Hey, what do I know?   

But you know, “People Are Saying!” To quote The Donald.

NOTE:  Just funnin' here today.  Don't take offense.  Or I'll put the Trump/Putin team on your ass!


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