SO WHY DIDN’T SOMEONE TELL ME THIS BACK IN THE DAY?

WTF?  LSD CAN BE GOOD FOR YOU? NO FRIGGIN' WAY JOSE!

The un-reality of this year’s primary elections got you down?  Don’t want to see or hear one more word about The Donald?  Scared that Ted Cruz might actually become President and turn the entire country into a gigantic Louisiana?  Yes.  If you’re thinking that we need a break today, and Mickey D’s just isn’t enough, why not LSD?  Yes, that’s right.  Apparently after decades of fear-mongering by the LSD-haters like the Reefer Madness crowd in my generation, new research into LSD reveals that it isn’t really all that bad for you.  In fact, might actually be good for you!


Now, more often than not, I rail at the wishy washy, always two sides to every issue, can’t offend anyone, flippy-floppy stance of the Washington Post, aka, the used-to-be liberal masthead of the print media.  You know, their ridiculous two year coverage of the Birther Issue, not taking down the racist Tea Party and not calling out the Freedom Caucus as obstructionist, dunderheaded idiots, paving the way for The Donald.  Not that the Post acted alone in this outcome. 

But every once in a while, like the series on Police shootings last year or the four part series about living under ISIS, they still mange to rise to the level of “the old days” when the Post (along with Woodward and Bernstein) took out Richard Nixon.  Sure, such worthy reportage is extremely rare these days so imagine my surprise when I opened Section B of last Sunday’s paper to the following:

"LET’S TAKE A TRIP TOGETHER: ACTIVIST DAVID MILLER SAYS PSYCHEDELICS CAN BE GOOD FOR YOU!"


As you might imagine from an old pothead, I was intrigued.  (To say the least!)  I thought to myself, so back when I was a college student and avoided LSD like some evil brain killing chemical concoction, I was actually missing the best time of my life?  Sure, as a high schooler, we were treated to a showing of  “Reefer Madness”  in my high school Health and Safety class but I’d gotten over that.   Why, now that I think about it, did I believe the gubment when they told us – ad nauseam – that LSD would destroy your brain for the rest of your life?  In fact, a friend of mine’s brother was up in Harvard partaking in Timothy Leary’s LSD research project while I was in the final years of my public education.  I didn’t see any difference in him when he came home for Thanksgiving and Christmas and we were all fascinated by his stories of trips, visions and magical mind scenes. 


Several of my college friends imbibed and there was that time when a group of hippies we had hosted during the March on Washington gave me and my roommate five or six tabs in payment.  We flushed them down the toilet.  Mistakenly, I now learn.  But pot?  Hashish?  Hey, I was quite down with these mind altering substances.  But LSD remained un-imbibed by yours truly.  And still is. 

But apparently, like pot, LSD taken even once can permanently alter our lives and make us happier and kinder.   Hell, I'm thinking wouldn't it be a great public service if LSD were made legal?  I mean how would such a drug impact our Republican comrades? And imagine how it might benefit the Freedom Caucus, the Tea Baggers, Paul Ryan and Scott Walker?  Don't the possibilities seem endless?    So, I have to ask, in this day of political insanity, maybe LSD ought to be sold at your local CVS or dispensed at those 24 Hour Emergency Care centers that now dot the nation.  

Here’s the key findings of the latest LSD research:

“…over the past decade, some scientists have begun to challenge the conclusion that LSD is totally bad.  Far from being harmful, they found hallucinogens can help sick people: they helped alcoholics drink less; terminal patients [to] ease more gently into death.  And it’s not just the infirm.  Psychedelics can make the healthy healthier too.

On this subject only a handful of peer reviewed studies have been conducted; sample results are tiny. There’s still a great deal researchers don’t know.  But early results suggest that psychedelics can make us kinder, calmer and better at our jobs.  They can help us solve problems more creatively and make us more open-minded and generous.  Some experiments even suggest that a single dose can change our personalities forever.”

So, then,  what’s not to love?

But a word of caution:  David Miller is an LSD “advocate” and not necessarily an objective researcher.  And while such a designation might bring to mind the advocacy of the NRA and the Heritage Foundation, why do I think that I’d rather trust David than Wayne LaPierre, Donald Trump and Ted Cruz? 

Here's the entire article:


PS: I would not suggest immediately running out to your local neighborhood drug dealer to pick up a few tabs.  I think a bit more research from a less “involved” party than David Miller might be in order.   On the other hand, I just finished re-reading gonzo journalist,  Hunter S. Thompson’s “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," the undisputed, veritable Bible of the wild and wooly 1970’s drug scene.  It brought back fond memories – some a bit hazy, I’ll admit – of sweet, mellow summer nights lolling about Dupont Circle and stocking up at our local Safeway on Lay’s “Bet You Can’t Eat Just One” potato chips and Reese’s peanut butter cups.  And, as far as I know, my drug addled days and nights haven’t done me any lasting or permanent damage.   At least so far.  

But here’s a thought: wouldn’t you rather be transported to a mind expanding, drug induced flight of inner visionary marvels rather than having to hear one more word from The Donald?  Or Ted “What The Hell Is Wrong With His Face” Cruz? I mean, imagine seeing that face under the influence?  Now that’s fucking scary!  Frankly, this LSD thing is looking mighty attractive!


And, just to keep the record honest here:  No.  In my experience eating one Lay’s potato chip (high or not) is akin to making love without climaxing.  Plus, like sex, the more you eat, the more you want!


DRUG INDUCED OR OTHERWISE, HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!


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