REPUBLICANS RELENT! ADMIT TO GROSS ERRORS OF JUDGEMENT!
APOLOGIES TO PRESIDENT OBAMA FLOW LIKE MANNA FROM HEAVEN!
In a remarkable turnaround just two days following the death of Conservative Icon, Associate Justice of the Supreme Court, Antonin Scalia, and only one day after Republicans universally derided and demonized Obama as an illegitimate usurper of the Constitution for even dreaming that he could appoint Scalia’s successor, apparently even President Obama’s harshest critics and uber-partisans, are today united in their abject shame over their unseemly, unprofessional and intemperate performances of the past couple of days. Democrats, liberals and most progressives applauded this newfound humility and opined that maybe Republicans have finally come to their senses, or as Senate Minority leader, Harry Reid (D-NV) put, it “They’ve finally seem to have come to the realization that their batshit crazy mouthings sounded more like a cabal of crazy men who had escaped from the lunatic asylum than cogent human beings.”
As the apologies and mea culpas poured forth across the nation, the media prominently reported on the amazing utterances of erstwhile Republicans who just yesterday were determined to ensure that Barack Hussein Obama continued to be a one term President. But, according to the press, that’s all over now. A newfound spirit of cooperation and support for the President has emerged. Here’s what a few prominent Republicans had to say:
Mitch McConnell (R-KY)
In a starling about-face, the Senate Majority Leader McConnell, early yesterday morning released this statement: “I will personally welcome whoever President Obama nominates to fill the current vacancy on the Supreme Court and will endeavor to work day and night to ensure that my Senate colleagues confirm the nominee with all appropriate speed. And I want to extend my heartfelt apology to President Obama for my rash comments of the day before yesterday.” McConnell also apologized for also implying that the public has a role in selecting Supreme Court justices.
Ted Cruz (R-TX)
“I offer my sincere and humble regret for implying that the President does not have the authority to select a nominee for the Supreme Court. In re-reading Section Two of the Constitution of the United States I find that on careful study and contemplation I misspoke.” The Texas senator went out of his way to correct his “…in 80 years we’ve never confirmed a Justice in an election years” conclusion when news anchor Kelly Kacem, in an on-air interview with the Senator, pointed out that Ronald Reagan had done just that 20 some years ago.
Marco Rubio (R-FL)
The Senator from Florida acknowledged that he had mis-spoken on Sunday's talk show where he refused to promise that if he were elected President he would not appoint a Supreme Court Justice during an election year. Cruz issued this clarifying statement: "I'm not sure what came over me when I refused this fair and thoughtful proposal. In beseeching God for guidance on this issue, I now promise that if elected President I will not nominate a Supreme Court Justice during an election year and additionally, I promise to be in the Senate chamber when Obama's nominee comes up for confirmation."
Dr. Ben Carson:
In a surprisingly loquacious statement released by his campaign team via Twitter, Doctor Carson apologized to President Obama for saying that Obama should not appoint a nominee to replace Justice Scalia. While Dr. Carson’s whereabouts were unknown (he’s believed to be showering in Florida) chief campaign staffer, Duck Edwards, related that the Doctor was feeling very shameful for his previous remarks and offered to meet with the President to discuss potential Supreme Court nominees and to provide their health exams at no cost to the Obama Administration.
The ex-governor of Florida, referencing his brother’s 2000 election win and the Terri Schiavo interventions on the Sunday talk shows, stated that: “I don’t think that a nomination to the Supreme Court should be mired in partisan politics. It is vital to the continuation of a robust discussion of the interpretation and application of the laws of the United States that the nomination process remain above hurtful, divisive and counterproductive political wrangling over the role of the Supreme Court.”
John Kasich (R-OH)
The Governor of Ohio reversed himself from his earlier comments that Obama should not nominate a Justice to replace Scalia. Appearing on Fox News’ “Face the Nation,” Kasich reiterated his stance that if he were President we wouldn’t have the divisions we have today but offered an on-air apology to Obama for previously saying he should not act since he is a lame-duck President. Kasich said: “I know that my apology to Obama will cost me Evangelical votes but I will sign the Ohio State Legislature’s bill defunding Planned Parenthood into law tomorrow so I’m hopeful that this will appease them.”
Universal messages of chagrin and apology were proffered by Republican officials and Presidential candidates around the country, all of which retracted their previous statements about Obama’s lack of authority, taking the law into his own hands, and further dividing the country along racial lines by insisting that he would put forth a Supreme Court nominee to be confirmed by the U.S. Senate.
Many liberal commentators, particular on MSNBC and the Huffington Post, expressed delight at this radical turn of events in what has become the most vitriolic, un-civil, bombastic and intemperate political campaign of the Modern Era. Said one commentator:
“I find it personally gratifying that Republicans have finally come around to accepting the fact that Obama is legitimately our 44th President of the United States and this gives me great hope for change in their obstructionist actions during the last year of his Presidency. Perhaps a degree of sanity has returned to the Republican Party that we have seen grow more batshit crazy over the past several decades. On this President’s Day, it makes me very hopeful that we might see a great deal more cooperation from them in implementing Obama’s agenda and beginning to heal the great divide in the American public they have fostered for over thirty years.”
Have A Hopeful and Changeful President’s Day!
NOTE: Hey, if every single Republican candidate for the most important office in the land can make shit up and ignore data, facts and statistics, why not me?
PS: We have about two inches of snow on the ground here in the Capital of the Free Market World this morning and more out in the suburbs - Southern Maryland got about 6 inches. And schools are closed again. And it’s bloody freezing cold again: 20 F/-5C. But since this is President’s Day, a kind of weird semi-holiday with an uncertain status when it comes to having the day off, apparently many folks have exercised their personal responsibility and individual initiative and stayed home for the day.
Until we meet again.