You could be forgiven if you don’t find the search for a new Speaker of the House as nail-biting as does every single news media outlet across the country.  Frankly, it is a bit boring as the new Republican controlled House and Senate continue to teach America just how well they govern, as indeed, they promised after the 2012 elections when the they gained the majority in the Senate.  This “search” has been going on ever since the current Speaker, John Boehner (R-OH), announced his resignation.  After a bumpy week, it looks as if Paul Ryan, (R-WS) is the current front runner for this honor and he’s back home in Minnesota over this holiday weekend allegedly contemplating whether or not he will place himself in the Cuisinart food processor that is the Speaker’s Race.

Admittedly, never in a million years would I have dreamed that I would ever – save with my head on a wooden chopping block with an ISIS warrior standing above me clutching a razor sharp beheading axe – express sympathy for Republican Paul Ryan, current House Representative from Wisconsin.    But I feel sorry for the man.  No, I don’t support his right wing agenda and no, I would never want him to become President but he is one of the right wingers who seems to possess a reasonably functioning brain unlike, let’s say, Donald Trump, Dr. Ben Carson, Bobby Jindal and Sam Brownback. (I could list any number of additional loony Republicans.) But, Paul Ryan, former Vice Presidential candidate with presidential hopeful, Mitt Romney, has demonstrated that he can string together several English words to form a complete sentence unlike Representative Kevin McCarthy who either has some neurological dead space between his brain and his mouth, or English isn’t his native language and he’s still taking lessons from some raping Mexican wetback who isn’t fully cognizant of what the term “Teaching English As A Second Language” or “TESL” actually entails.

The current chaos up on the Hill just five blocks away from me on the House of Representatives side of the Capitol Building as they attempt to chose a new Speaker of the House, is amusing.  Yes, I’m sorry if I gloat but, hey, when you appease your “base” and that “base” consists of “Right Wing Revolutionaries Who Won’t Stop Until They Get What They Want Even If It Means The Destruction Of America And Democracy As We Know It” this is what you get – the entire Republican Party (to say nothing about the rest of us too) held hostage to the ridiculous demands of this group of faux freedom fighters who are just about as sane as ISIS. 

But why, you might ask, do I feel sympathetic to Paul Ryan’s plight as frontrunner for the Speakership prize?  Well, for me I was in favor of Kevin McCarthy since with him I doubt that he would have even noticed when he was vilified by the Tea Party for not defunding Obamacare and Planned Parenthood or for not shutting down the Federal Government over a budget impasse since I suspect that his brain matter really isn’t developed sufficiently to actually understand the words that might be hurled at him from the House floor, on Fox News or from the right wing media.  Then again, this ultra-radical-right–ring- conservative Republican, Daniel Webster (R-FL) , (note the Tea Party attraction here, his “Founding Father” name that, to Tea Baggers, positively shows that he is the eighth reincarnated soul emergent through his namesake’s original bloodline) from Florida is a close second in my book.  This guy also seems pretty clueless about what would happen to him should he become Speaker.  Briefly, a third candidate, Darrell Issa (R-CA) of Benghazi Investigative Hearing fame, arose as a possibility and he got his 30 seconds of public face time on the nightly news.  This used car salesmen and fire insurance scammer I would have supported without question.  Of course my support is based on my abject hatred for this turd of a man and I would love to see him beaten to a pulp under the onslaught of the Tea Bagger thugs.   No living politician is more deserving of being ground into a billion pieces of lifeless cell matter than this mistake of a human being.

But given the Tea Party’s control over the ultra conservative Freedom Caucus (about 40 Republican members of the House who share ultra right wing policy positions) and pretty much over our entire public policy agenda with our lame-ass media’s cooperation, the Tea Party isn’t interested in solving problems.  Maybe several years ago they were, but no longer.  Now they are simply in it for the fight.  Now they seem to be on a fast-track to fomenting insurrection against Obama, the Federal Government and anyone and everyone who dares object to their Fascist agenda. 

So no matter how far right wing is Paul Ryan, unless he leads the Tea Baggers to the glorious revolution they are fantasizing about, he will fail.  And just like John Boehner, he will get chewed up in the Cuisinart food processor that is the Tea Party’s method for winnowing out folks who are not 1000% dedicated to their insurrectionist pogrom.  As I noted above, Congressman Paul Ryan is no Donald Trump or Dr. Ben Carson.  He seems to possess a level of intellect that these two Republican Klowns could only achieve through brain matter transplants.  So if Ryan decides to enter the fray and is selected as the new Speaker of the House of Representatives, because he is not just a dressmaker’s dummy or one of those flippy-floppy airborne plastic men you see waving by the side of the road at gas stations, I predict that he too will end up as just so much chewed up beach debris after a hurricane at the hands of the Tea Party. 

Don't forget, the Tea Party sees anyone with views to the left of Hitler as a traitor to their Fascist cause.  So good luck to whomever is unlucky enough to become the next Speaker of the House of Representatives.  

And that’s a pretty damned sad commentary on our political processes as they stand today. 


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