I’ll admit it.  I was looking forward with undisguised glee as the latest round of Republican Presidential Candidates took to the field and started fanning across the country seeking primary votes and the Republican nomination.  I thought that it would be like the last time, you know, when Sarah Palin couldn’t remember the magazines she read (the “trick” question from Katie Couric) or Mitt Romney’s famous claim that the 47% of Americans who populate the “moocher class” weren’t going to vote for him.  (Note: Apparently the “moocher class” didn’t vote for him in 2012 along with a whole lot of non-moocher Americans.)  As I said, I had been looking forward to the new crop of the Republican Presidential Klown Kar bozos groveling to their insane Tea Bagger Base, but who could have predicted that yellow-blond-wavy-haired billionaire (aka “The Donald”) would explode upon the scene and shit on all the rest of them? 

And here I am trying to stay calm, attempting not to guffaw as Scott Walker alters his immigration stance for the third time in three days in response to Trump’s latest immigration pronouncement and tightly wrapping my hands around my head to prevent it from exploding!  I mean, as I write this, I’m watching the PBS New Hour and there’s some old hag from an anti-immigration organization telling us that she knows of an Asian woman (probably in response to Jeb Bush’s attempt to deflect his “Yes, anchor baby mothers should not be allowed to stay in America” from Latino Anchor Moms to Asian Anchor Moms – and, no, I’m not making this up! He did.) in California (predictably) from China, who came to America illegally, spent four months here, gave birth to an Asian Anchor Baby (Asian-American Anchor Baby would be more accurate) and who spent $50,000 on the effort. 

W-----H-----A-----T    T----H----E       F-----U------C------K?  

I mean yes, sure, the Chinese woman with $50,000 to spend on having an Anchor Baby in the United States of America is your typical illegal immigrant anchor baby criminal mom.    Obviously this is the MAJOR PROBLEM WITH IMMIGRATION NOT ONLY IN CALIFORNIA BUT FROM MAINE TO FLORIDA AND ALASKA TO TEXAS AND HAWAII TOO!!  Anchor babies?  Have these folks completely lost their minds?  Or did they not have one to begin with? Frankly, to my mind, any illegal who has $50,000 to spend on trying to anchor here in the U.S.A. is someone we should welcome with open arms and a newly minted passport.

Now do you understand why even though I so often used the phrase “right wingers’ heads exploding across the land” when the Supreme Court ruled same sex marriage legal or when they upheld Obamacare or when those idiot bakers in Portland or Seattle or from whatever Northwest Coast state they had their business, lost their case to not bake a cake for a gay couple because of their “closely held religions beliefs” since, according to the Bible, gay men and women are not real people but evil Satans in drag, I have to hold my own head to keep it from exploding?  Man, this primary season is a constant round of barely unsuccessful suicide attempts by the 16 Republican Candidates who aren’t named Donald Trump to keep up with The Donald’s pronouncements that keep raising the bar on lowering the radical conservative “thoughts, ideas and policies.”   He keeps spitting out these
“themes” like so much sewerage from a Roto Rooter truck pumping out a septic tank.

Who knew that Immigration would become such a fertile compost pile of hair-brained proposals and hate speech?   In case you were wondering, The Donald’s “build a wall from Florida to California to keep all the raping and murdering Mexicans out and then round up the 11 million illegals in the country and ship them back to where they came from” is estimated to cost somewhere north of $160 billion dollars.  Naturally, the knuckle draggers just love this idea.  So direct.  So non-PC.  Such a brilliant solution.  Such a magical businessman approach!  And, irony of ironies, these are the same folks who froth at the mouth endlessly about how Obama has exploded the national debt and how they want government to disappear.  As I've noted many times, "irony" is simply a term that right wingers know not from therewith.  I suppose that they will pray to God and/or Jesus to secure the funds, you know like the wine and fishes thingy in the Bible, and the $166 billion in $100 bills will float down from the sky like snowflakes in winter. 

Yes, thus far, the Republican Presidential Run For The White House has exceeded all my expectations and even though I do feel I’m at risk for exploding head syndrome, I’m still looking forward to the next 14 months of the Republicans-Get-Down-With-America-Talking-Real-Stuff-Not-Like-Democrats-And-That-Evil-Hillary-Witch-Traitor-Who-Are-Liberal-Socialist-Devils-In-Drag-Who-Aren’t-Real-Americans-Anyway presidential candidates' show.

Now admittedly, this season’s Republican Follicles Follies doesn’t have that special spicy piquantness of a Michele Bachmann history lesson (“Our Founding Fathers worked Tirelessly To End Slavery”) or that Congressman out West (Idaho?  Wyoming? Anyway, somewhere in America’s Heartland) who proclaimed that women could self-abort a pregnancy caused by rape or a Representative Larry Craig doing the blow job foot shuffle in the men’s room of the Minneapolis International Airport.   But there’s still time.  14 months to be exact. 

And think about this: if immigration has become such a hot button, blood sport, no holds barred American slugfest this year, we have the Defunding Planned Parenthood Congressional Shutdown celebration to look forward to.  And that happens in late September, less than a month away!  I'm betting that selling baby parts Trumps raping Mexicans any day!   Man, am I looking forward to this one!   The possibilities are endless!!  

Have A Good Day! 


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