OLD TESTAMENT? NEW TESTAMENT? COSMIC WARFARE?
CONFUSED? ME TOO.
As a follow-up to my post yesterday, I began thinking deeper about the events of last week – the Supreme Court sanctioning gay marriage, upholding Obamacare and ruling that disparate impacts can be considered even if the wording of a law or regulation is not, on its face, discriminatory. Now, all three of these decisions are not your typical “the ICC’s ruling that the proposed merger of ABC corporation with XYZ corporation violates the terms of the Taft-Hartley Act is hereby overturned” or “Citizen Mary Doe was denied due process when she was arrested for mouthing off at a City Council meeting in Redux, Indiana, because she wasn’t advised of her Miranda rights.” No, the three rulings are pretty much tide-turning decisions that will have an impact on American society for a long, long time.
Initially I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, the Red Tide of Conservatism was beginning to wane and that more common sense, humane, liberal considerations were bubbling up to the surface of the cesspool that is American politics and jurisprudence today. After all, I am a big, loving, fuzzy-thinking liberal and eternally optimistic. But in pondering what would certainly be a ray of sunshine in the otherwise dark, dreary legacy of three decades of Conservative rule, it didn’t quite make sense to me. Now, if I were a Christian Fundamentalist, I would naturally conclude that I hadn’t been smiting my enemies severely enough, thus resulting in this tsunami of liberal atrocities. But that’s just the easy answer. No, I thought, such tidal changes cannot be happening simply as a result of changing pubic opinion. Something more has just got to be at work here. Otherwise this outpouring of Supreme Court liberalism just doesn’t make sense.
So here’s the question that came up as I was pondering: Is it possible that there are two Gods up there in the sky who are engaged in some sort of cosmic jihad on our behalf? Whoaaaaa…..Wait just a minute. Yes, I hear ya! Only my warped, fucked up, “librul” brain awash in wishy washy thoughts of compassion and kindness and “Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You” could generate such blasphemous, anti-American, traitorous thoughts. True that. But given the slow turning tide against what the authoritarian, “do as I say not as I do,” “don’t fuck with me or I will bring fire and brimstone down upon thee” dicta of the Old Testament and the compassionate, “even prostitutes are deserving of kindness,” “love thy neighbor as thyself” themes of the New Testament, what is a lowly human being supposed to think? What the hell can one conclude from the raging conservative/liberal warfare here on earth that now seems to be tilting New Testament? It’s a bit scary to say nothing of just plain God-damned mysterious. (I apologize for the blasphemy.)
But to my muddled way of thinking, while we are trying to figure out why it is that Taylor Swift keeps winning all those Grammies for such questionable talent and the burning question “Has Cher Really Mounted Her Last Tour Or Is She Just Funning With Us Again?” that we all (well, at least all us gays) obsess over and God knows all sorts of other socially vital questions in our lives, I’m thinking that there must be a Biblical Battle Royale going on in the sky that we are totally oblivious to down here on earth. Nothing else makes as much sense. Why else, pray tell, would the fundamental forces of earthly conservatism, the forces we all know are the true forces that the old-man-with-the-beard God with his fire breathing blue eyes champions, suddenly seem to have a lost steam against the forces of the love-burdened, brown-eyed father of Jesus, the New Testament God? So, are there two Gods? (See! Bet you never thought of this one did you?)
I don’t know. Maybe I need to give this more thought. All I can say is that there seems to be some powerful cosmic forces at work here, given that the Supreme Court actually - I mean FOR REAL - actually came down on the side of us going-to-hell-in-a-hand basket (whatever a hand basket is) gays who according to Old Testament scripture are to be forever condemned to the fires and flames and sulfurous fracking-fumes of Hell and tortured for eternity. Please don’t tell me that this is just the product of a society that has tired of bigoted, racist, ignorant and just plain mean conservative ravings. No, it must be more than that. After all the religious Christian Fundamentalists are predicting the end of the world (Armageddon, is case you were wondering) as a result of this New Testament assault on the Old Testament as it plays out among us mere mortals here in the Capital of the Free World. Do you have some other, more plausible explanation? No, I thought not.
But enough of cosmic, religious speculation. Because we’ve had so much God-driven rain over the past month to say nothing of sky-high Biblical temperatures that have made it hotter than hell here in your nation’s Capital, the fucking weeds have taken over our back yard. So I need to get out there and do some vigorous, Old Testament righteous smiting against them to make sure that these blasphemous intrusions into the God-like peace I’ve tried to cultivate back there is not destroyed. Sorry about this, and I would love to continue pondering the overhead cosmic Old God/New God battle royale and keep tabs on who’s wining and who’s losing. But if I do, the chickadees, sparrows, cardinals, doves and that Satanic squirrel (I forgive him, though, since I’m a soft hearted, New Testament-style liberal) we feed each morning (actually it’s my Hindu soul mate who does the feeding of the doves and now that I think about it, is it any wonder that I’m confused about God with this multi-thousands God-and-Goddess- believing person sleeping next to me each night?) will not be able to find the seed we lovingly, New Testament-style-love-all-things, spread liberally across the precious earthly firmament we humbly call our backyard. The life giving seeds will be buried under a mound of irreligious, fucking, hellfire resistant weeds.
Again, have a good day. And please, God, (New One, Old One - or Both) do forgive me if I have offended you. I mean no harm.
BTW do any of you remember that Christian hymn that goes “as it is in heaven so shall it be on earth”? See what I mean? More evidence for my warring, two-God thesis!