GOD'S LAW

OR HOW I LEARNED TO LIVE WITH LEVITICUS




Dear Conservatives,
*

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. 
I have learned a great deal from your kind, and try to share that 
knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to 
defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them 
that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End 
of debate. 
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other 
elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.



1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and 
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A 
friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not 
Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? 



2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in 
Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair 
price for her? I don't want to get ripped off ! 



3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in 
her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem 
is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence. 



4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it 
creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my 
neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I 
smite them? 



5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 
35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally 
obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it? 



6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an 
abomination, Lev. 11:10 , it is a lesser abomination than 
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 
'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I 
have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading 
glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some 
wiggle-room here?



8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the 
hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden 
by Lev. 19:27 . How should they die? 



9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig 
makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? 



10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two 
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing 
garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester 
blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really 
necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town 
together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to 
death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep 
with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)



I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy 
considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can 
help. 

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and 
unchanging.




Your adoring fan, 
Chuck

* Please note that this post is not originally mine.  I was cleaning out my desktop this morning and came across this reply to some religious nutjob comment that I had saved.  


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